Sunday, March 1, 2009

Turning Pages

Wow. I can't believe February is over. Not because it seems like I still have a bajillion things to do, but because it marks the second month over in 2009. Wow. It seems as if time has been flying, in spite of the few excruiating days that linger just long enough to register.

February was a little hectic in terms of school and my stubborness is wanting to take on the month-long challenges I did last year. February was FAWM (as mentioned in an earlier post) and I was determined to start and finish it, with at least the very same amount of "zongs" as I had last year.

This came out in the form of an almost finished composition notebook with rather illegible scribblings all over the pages (and even on top of each other-yikes!) and my trying to decipher it out at thirty minutes to midnight last night. If that doesn't qualify as possibly insane, I'm not sure what does, considering I was about eight songs short...and wrote them right then and there.

While the lyrics are not as deeply-soul-searching as last years, I found that I could lighten up my writing, and it was okay to make a few silly ryhmes. Because I was pushing for an end goal, I was able to loosen up a little bit and have some fun. There was an entire song on Goldfish-with just nonsensical ryhmes and a silly tune inside my head, talking about what a nice snack they were. That is definitely me being 'random' at who knows what time of the night.

I made the deadline. (obviously, lol) and I learned a small something. Last year, I did FAWM as a project completely between me and my heavenly Father. This year, I was all set, gung-ho if you will, on doing the same thing and having another 'awesome experience'. I suppose I ought to mention right now, that He had other plans for me and this particular challenge. Last year, I struggled quite a bit with writing anything vaguelyl 'songworthy'. And everytime I hit a block, I was praying so hard to get through it, that I felt each time He literally halted my life, pausing to write lyrics on my heart. It was awesome.

But this year, between a hectic class schedule and other elements of life, I spent more time fretting over what I wasn't getting done and reserved my FAWM enthusiasm for the weekend, during the morning hours when I was fast asleep. I pretended I was listening, I waited, exasperated for the 'brilliance' of last year, but the lesson He meant to teach me came in the back of a car riding home in the rain last night. I did specifically ask him, to "Pull me through this month, regardless". I should know by now, when I ask something like that, His sense of humor shines through and He does exactly that-in His own way.

I was pulled through this month, maybe that's why it seems like such a blur, but when it's half an hour to midnight, you start thinking a lot deeper into a lot of things. He wrote those eight songs I couldn't cram last night, He helped me write in the back of a car where I couldn't see the pages, but I could feel Him right next to me. The words streamed into my head and the moment was, well, beyond amazing. When I reached about eight, I had to stop, because I wasn't sure how much more I could take.

The moment I was home, I typed like crazy to have the songs posted before the deadline. This morning I woke up and the full impact of it, hit me right in the head. Wow. That's pretty much all I can say.

And of course, I'm turning pages again this month. Guess what? It's NaNoEdMo time...National Novel Editing Month. 50 hours of editing in the month of March. Last year was crazy, but I'm not even going to think in that direction. I'd like to think I learned something from this FAWM experience, so we'll see. In the meantime, I'm going to get something to eat. Strawberries, I think...and Kiwi, with whipped topping. (after all, why on earth would I be grocery shopping at midnight, if it wasn't for something as scrumptious as this to eat today?)

Have a great day and enjoy the rest of your weekend!


Joanne Sher said...

I am SO loving reading this blog, girl! I love when you share what you're learning, and your hectic, crazy schedule. Good for you on listening to God and learning from Him. Praying you will follow exactly where He leads you this month and from then on!

Lita said...

Wow, that sounds awesome (re: songs)! So glad it turned out well for you. :)

I wish I had a novel to edit for NaNoEdMo! I would totally do it. Sigh. Oh well, maybe my novel will be finished by March next year. Or maybe I'll have another finished by March next year. Haha. :P