Thursday, June 4, 2009

Blue Fingernails

Ever had one of those really, really bad days? You know, the kind that's worse than the worst day of your life, ever. It makes you feel really crummy. And lousy. And insignificant. And oh boy, could I go on. Yesterday was like that, it was just plain awful, no two ways around or about it.

Want to know the surprising thing?

I survived.

Believe me, I wasn't quite sure I would, at least not at the very moment the whole day was spiraling downwards, but just because I don't want time to move, doesn't mean it stops. The amazing thing about bad days? The day doesn't stop, it keeps on going, which means there's a new day and new hope to come when it does. It doesn't make you feel stupid, it actually makes you feel a happy.

In my case, that can be a rather strange kind of happy. As I've mentioned before, my two extremes are the opposite sides of the spectrum for happy or awful. In this case, I attempted to look for something-anything, this morning to make today better than yesterday.

Guess what happened? I was rushing around as usual (generally, I am rarely ever sitting down, still, I mean, unless I'm writing and even so, my fingers are almost always flying) and as I was about to go flying out the door, I paused to grab my knapsack. It's a small little blue thing and I throw everything inside of it, gum, notebook, water bottle, etc. As I picked it up, I noticed a rather odd stain on one corner.

My first reaction was simply, "Oh, that's odd." and began to sling it over my shoulder when I heard it rattle. Now, technically, knapsacks aren't supposed to rattle, but this one did. It was enough to halt in mid-sling and open it to investigate.

Turns out a favorite necklace of mine, was now missing a strand and there were about a hundred little red beads swimming around in the bottom of the bag. Lovely. In the midst of this sea of precious red beads, guess what? There's a nice little tube of red lipgloss. And now, here's how you get blue fingernails.

Retrieve the red lipgloss only to notice blue smears on fingertips.

Act puzzled.

Rub the smears on your fingers to see if it really is blue.

Become horrified when it spreads and refuses to rub out.

Throw lipgloss away. Root around in bag to find the cause of this crisis.

Find blue pen leaking blue ink.

Touch ink to see if it is dry.

Bemoan your fate when a big glob of blue ink is transferred to BOTH fingertips.


Rush to the bathroom sink and pump soap vigorously into hands. Lather thickly. Rinse. Repeat. Frown at hands. Rinse. Repeat.

Panic some more.

Look at the clock.

Realize you can't be late for work.

Rush to the kitchen sink.

Use dishwashing liquid to wash hands. Scrub dark blue stains until they become light blue.

Root in the laundry room for Germ-X. Pump generous handfuls over blue fingers. Rub and wash out until both hands have a strange, light-blue quality to them.

Be relieved that most of it is off.

Rush to work.

Arrive at work. Look at fingernails. Realize you now have a Blue French Manicure.

Sit down. Think. Laugh about it. Write a blog about it. Smile. Laugh some more. Wait for comments to roll in.

And that is how you get blue fingernails...for free! (No hammer involved) Have a great Thursday. Cheers!


inkblotsonthepage said...

ROFL!!! Ah, those sort of days are always awful to live through and awesome for laughs later.

Pat said...

Frustratingly scary! (But funny, tehe) Thanks for the smile.


Joanne Sher said...

hehehe - NOBODY tells a story like my SAWA! NObody! Glad you shared the lighter side. Love ya, girl!